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The lies about marriage|Pure News Reporters

The lies about marriage:

By Cyril Uchenna Ugwu

Most people are willing to get married at all cost, this is not because they are desirous of getting married but because of the pressure from the family or the society . Be that as it may, the basic element influencing that desire is the perceived impact from existing marriage. Existing marriages directly impacts how we perceive marriage generally. For example I became interested in marriage because I like the way my parents lived in their marriage and I wanted to replicate that in my own marriage. I have also heard a friend say to me he will never venture into marriage. When I inquired why he said the way his parents lived in their marriage does not encourage him to marry.

Years ago marriage was strictly a family affair hence parents and other family members can easily impose a suitor on their children without a prior notice and the marriage will still prosper. This because those days marriage was connected to it’s root which is the family. And the values there of strengthens and rekindles marriage.

This days even a prolonged relationship does not still guarantee marriage. However, one would have believed that civilization and our deep rooted religious involvement would solve the problems marriage present today. But it didn’t, marriages still crash like a sand house.

I hold the philosophy that anything that is copied can never be useful as the original. We copy too much to the extent that the values which made use human has depleted and we have nothing left but confusion. It’s only confused people that behave like we do.

How can marriage hold in a civilized sense when mobile phones (Android) has replaced companionship.
And the bridge of intimacy, trust, diligence, commitment, sincerity and openness which companionship builds has collapsed into the wind.

And marriage this days only produce couples who are opposition to each other yet they live together.

For some of us who want to replicate our parents in marriage . I want a wife who will replace my mother in my marital life while I play the role of my father in my marriage. But in today’s world marriage has become entirely enstranged.

As a child I watched my mother eat with my father morning, afternoon and evening and it’s a good gesture to replicate. But this days you find a wife who will serve her husband food and dish hers in a different plat without regret. A wife dinning without her husband and she comfortable doing that. There is this saying family that eat together live forever. Because in the dinning bridges are built. Emotions, bond and trust are built.

My mother was always worried of what my father would eat when he returns from work. Nowadays how many wife cares about what their husbands prefer as meal talk more of serving them.

Even when they do they carelessly serve their husband poorly prepared meals. The type you eat and chew stone or find some irritating objects in.

Little will you wonder why the restaurant down the street is filled with married men. Men who are searching for good meal to fill their appetite. And once they find their favorite cook outside their home. Their emotional attachment also shifts from the home to the service provider.

In most marriages the female couple clings to their upbringing even when their husbands complain of this behavioral impoverishment they view flexibility as an act of cowardice. Go and check most wives are just the opposite of their mother and this is what is ruining marriages.

Good things should be copied bad thing should be trashed.
In marriage a woman should build herself based on her marriage requirements. When couples come together in marriage they become one in behavior. But this is not true for this generation.The necessity of Courtship is to build this behavior in a civilized sense. This what men expect from their wives – a behavioral synchronization.

By the time the husband wait for this behavioral adjustment and she is not yielding he becomes estranged in his own home. And the next thing would be for the man to look for happiness elsewhere.

At a point the marriage becomes intolerable and you feel liking ending it. Yes. It gets to that point you feel like let this marriage end this is not what I want.

My mother was hygienic apart from being a good cook also very obidient and respectful. She was the engineer in the house anything was possible. I mean she perfects everything. Name it cooking, chores, romance, attitude and inter personal relationship , everything was perfect.

I was happy I would enjoy such privilege in my own time. But unfortunately their time and my time is not the same. Theirs was the time of humanity, mine is the time of people. People who never learn or adjust their behavior to suit present circumstance .

My parents felt and enjoyed their marriage but my own generation manage their marriage. I wonder what mother’s teach their daughter this days.

There is high rate of parternal morality because men are frustrated in their marriage and because there is no one to talk to about it, they harbor it in their mind and it kills them.

Look at our society marriage and family is gradually loosing values and men and women are becoming more comfortable staying single. This is not what my parents taught me.

The wive are the drivers in marriage they should take their time before they marry and when they do they should have the basic skills to be able to overtake all the potholes in their marriage.

I found my self in a time when wives prefer their house help to serve their husband food, wash his clothes and run his errands. Infact most house help are well trained than most wives and they are loosing it.

If you don’t put your heart where your treasure is enemies will steal it. Civilization has misled my generation. In my parents time a man could marry as many wives as possible and it made wives live up to their responsibilities. Women are too reluctant today because civilization has assured them that a man can only marry a wife and their head swells.

Men marry for companionship not just procreation. Without companionship procreation won’t hold. If two must become one it has to be in everything

(Ugwu Cyril Uchenna. 2021)

©️purenewsreporters 2021

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